Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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