She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
