Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize