she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
