During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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