okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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