You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
