And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
