I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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