and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
