airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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