why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
