New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Randomize
