Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
