I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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