So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
