it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Randomize
