Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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