do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Let's get the cat blown out
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
