I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
