just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
