next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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