i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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