Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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