what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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