so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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