If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
