In the future we'll all be gay
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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