In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
