Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
