I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
