just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
4 words: hood of his car
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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