i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Do vagina's smell?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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