I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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