i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
