You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize