I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize