omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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