What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize