i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
