Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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