he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Someone came in the potted fern
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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