"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
