And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He called his prostate his "boner button".
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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