Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
