Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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