Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I don't deserve a penis
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
