Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
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