3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize