Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
