gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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