Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
