Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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