If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
