Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
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