Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
