Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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