nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
