separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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