No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
