I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
There's always time for handjobs
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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