the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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