Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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