You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
