UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
