He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
