yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
You know, be my cock's hype man.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
