Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
