Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
