The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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