on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
