we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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