Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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