Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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