things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
zippers are such a cool invention
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Randomize