We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
